up all night
the mocking bird
and me

a river of stones #31 End of July

a bright sunny day

might have a huge cloud

hanging over it

but

it's still

a bright sunny day

Thank you Fiona and Kaspa for another insightful, inspiring month!

a river of stones #30

we need

to get our ducks

all in a row

a river of stones #29

..and then

there are other

beautiful things

so small

that we

barely

even

notice

them

a river of stones #28

sometimes I think

they're just showing off

blue jays

a river of stones #27

even

in a nursing home

bullies

a river of stones #26

wheel chairs, walkers

oxygen tanks, penny slots

tuesdays at the casino

a river of stones #25

Today, I gathered all my worries

put them in a jar and threw them

into the sunset

I watched as they melted

then disappeared

out of reach

far beyond the horizon

a river of stones #24

sunday afternoon

watching pelicans go back

and forth

watching

me

a river of stones #23

only a second

away from death

we breath in

we breath out

all facing

the same

direction

RIP Amy

a river of stones #22

I didn’t go anywhere today, again

I was here in the garden, thinking about you

And me and how long the nights used to be

As we danced and drank and made love

Without a care or want for anything more

Than the space we shared between us

a river of stones #21

I am not a political person and certainly do not want to step on anyone's toes but feel I must say something in response to the apocalyptic fear that has been recently fed to The People from our government.

If I was 14 trillion dollars in debt and unable to pay my bills, wouldn't I pretty much be on my way to jail?

Book 'em.

a river of stones #20

sunset over Catalina

tomorrow, I think I'll paint something

a river of stones #19

Think about it.

and the sign says

long hair freaky people

need not apply

a river of stones #18

I have a feeling my husband gives my dog lots of treats when I'm not there.

a river of stones #17

sometimes I get so deep into my thoughts

I get so deep into my thoughts

deep into my thoughts

into my thoughts

sometimes

so deep

a river of stones #16

today I had an appointment

to do the unthinkable

but, I couldn't

so I didn't

meow

a river of stones #15

full moon

sometimes just thinking about it

is overwhelming

a river of stones #14

today my mind is blank

a river of stones #13

always on the edge

forgiving, forgetting

trying to get ahead

to the front of the class

ahead of the BMW

that always has to pass

every car on the freeway

spinning wooden wheels

deep into muddied holes

splashing, trashing

when steel rims are required

faking it, making it, not

one inch closer

to the truth...not

one inch ahead

of anything

a river of stones #11, 12

#12

please don't ever

call me

your significant other

I am no one's

significant anything

much less

an 'other'

#11

It's midnight, all the doors are locked, everyone's asleep, and still, the moonlight is coming through the upstairs window.

a river of stones #10

Let’s say you needed ten thousand dollars. Which would be easier, faster, and more practical? Selling ten items for a thousand dollars apiece? Selling a thousand items for ten dollars apiece? Or, selling ten thousand items for one dollar each?

Go for it.

a river of stones #8, 9

in dreams I fly through the fog on the wings of a bird

#8

I taught Olivia how to play a song on the piano today

then listened to it in my head

...all night long.

a river of stones #7

I saw four birds today

all were singing

none were complaining

a river of stones #6

Mr. B

It's been five years

Since you've been gone

I still smell the scent

Of your aftershave

I feel the strength of your smile

I see the look in your eyes

As the side of the hospital bed

Clanks you safely into place

I remember that moment when

Your heart and mine knew

There was no turning back

And now, all I can say is

I miss you terribly and, like you,

I do not care for hospital beds

a river of stones 3,4,5

July 5

trash day

just wondering

if the those guys

ever get tired

of picking up

the trash

just wondering

July 4

sometimes

I can't believe

how wonderful it is

to not have a schedule

and be alone with one's self

with the world

July 3

grandchildren are here

to remind us of our childhoods

what went wrong

what went right

a river of stones 1,2 July 2011

July 2

no matter how early I rise

in the morning

the birds and my grandchildren

are already up

July 1

already

the year is

half over with

six months closer

to the end

of our lives

I felt safe

even with the doors unlocked

now you're gone

and I wonder

forsaking all deadlines

I find it overwhelming

taking care of mom

I love you, mom

I love it when I'm driving somewhere

it's getting dark and gray

and the clouds decide to entertain me

Sending Love and Strength

christchurch earthquake

even the dandelions

quiver

a river of stones #31

the end

only

the beginning

1/31/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #30

As we were leaving, a cold fog rolled in and a fresh layer of snow clung to the warm timbers, gracefully lacing green pines with ice and frost, composing a monochromatic landscape that was very hard to leave behind.

winter wonderland

the fog in between the trees

where gnomes and fairies live

1/30/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #29

halfway through winter

every single oak leaf

now in my garden

1/29/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #28

CAREGIVING

Trying to remember what it's like to worry about nothing more important than which team will win the Superbowl.

mother

still not not happy

living at the Ritz

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_elderly.htm

1/28/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #27

I spent the whole day without electricity because I forgot to mark on my computer calendar a planned ten-hour maintenance outage in my neighborhood that was to start at seven in the morning. Totally unprepared with a full days work ahead of me, I was left with a half-charged cell phone and a set of car keys to get through the busy day. The partial to-do list I made the night before was as follows; pay bills, wash all sheets, work on taxes, clean master closets, catch up on emails, catch up on writing deadlines, send e-cards out for Mom...all to do with using electricity.

I didn't realize how dark the inside of closets were or how many times a day I actually turned on a light, or, how dependent I was on the coffee maker. It was frustrating at first but I opted to turn the phone off, hang the car keys up on the hook, and see if I could manage a productive day without any modern day conveniences...save the porcelain goddess. I was lucky that the weather was unseasonably warm.

By the end of the day I found that I rather enjoyed the surprising change in my schedule and wrote down a revised list of to-dos; garden, read, sit on the swing and write with pen and paper, garden some more, watch a spider work its web, take pictures of the spider working its web, learn how to make a pot of coffee on the bar-b-que, start enjoying the outdoors like I used to.

I learned a few things things that surprised me and thought a lot about how frustrating it must have been for all those who have gone before me.

electricity
wondering what in the world
they did without it

1/27/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #26

mid-winter
the hills so green
you'd think it was spring

1/26/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #25

At sixty miles an hour it takes ten minutes, three oldies but goodies, and hundreds of memories to drive the ten mile stretch of freeway from one end of San Clemente to the other.

some velvet morning
I remember you
in dreams

1/25/2011 Stevie

Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood 1967
Frank Ifield 1962
Roy Orbison 1963

a river of stones #24

ASSISTED LIVING, the Golden Years

I watched from the doorway as the nurse pushed Mom in her wheelchair, through the hallway towards the dining room. Then I noticed him, again. The tall dapper old gentleman with the gold knobbed cane. He paused and watched Mom until she was seated in her chair at the ladies round table, then gave a big smile, tipped his hat and walked on to the elevator.

bird of paradise
how clever
is his dance

1/24/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #23

This morning I got lost in a an autostereogram and didn't get back until dinner.

the things
you really want to do
daydreams

1/23/2011 Stevie

.

a river of stones #22

Sending congratulations and condolences to two friends in one day. Only the waning moon holds the secrets to our earthly emotions.

a rose bud

blossoms

then dies

1/22/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #21

In a rare moment of boredom, I tried to see if I could hide from my dog. She found me all twenty-seven times.

unconditional

the way you are always happy

when you see me

1/21/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #20

Today, I learned how easy it was to press the 'off' button on my cell phone, house phone, Blackberry, iTouch, fax machine, computer...

peace and quiet

letting all the air out

when you exhale

1/20/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #19

The last love poem I wrote was about a homemade apple pie.

40 years later
he still serves me
the bigger slice of pie

1/19/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #18

Today on the freeway, I decided to give Patience a try, and found the situation easier to handle when she was driving instead of me.

1/18/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #17

The day before your birthday, all day long, you are a year younger than you are when you wake up the next morning.

1/17/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #16

I felt like doing nothing today and nothing consensually obliged, without complaint.

1/16/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #15

My white Go-Go boots still fit so I wore them as I sipped on an old bottle of Red Mountain wine and danced to forty Beatle songs in front of a mirror that revealed my true age.

1/15/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #14

How wonderful it is, the first day of an illness that you actually start to feel better.

1/14/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #13

Working late at my desk, I hear the echoing whistle of a train in the distance. I close my eyes and slip into the caboose. A porter brings me a hot cup of Earl Grey as I lie on a red velvet lounge next to a picture window and watch green pastures go by.

1/13/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #12

How quickly my lawyer whittles down sentences and paragraphs when it comes to discussions. A talent I feel most barristers obviously possess. During the break I asked her if she had ever been interested in or tried writing haiku or short poems?

"No." she simply responded.

1/12/2011 Stevie

down the mountain

through the clouds

back to reality

a river of stones #11

Tonight

driving up the coast

I was in the middle lane

of a five lane hiway

going the speed limit

plus eight

and noticed

all of the egos

that passed me on the right

at 85 miles an hour

were BMWs

1/11/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #10

I clearly see his round baby face as he blows out forty-two candles...happy birthday, son.

1/10/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #9

Wasting time has no sound or energy, it just stares back at you with a blank face.

1/9/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #8

A hummingbird whizzed by so close to my face, I smelled its honeysuckle breath and thought I heard it whisper my name.

1/8/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #7

Even frowns turned to smiles as we watched the sun set at Salt Creek.

1/7/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #6

Today, your shirt was the same blue colour of the sky and for a moment I saw you fade into the clouds.

1/6/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #2

I noticed her big blues eyes

slightly shift to the right

when I told her

that little white lie

even though she's only six

I knew

that she knew

I was lying

Then her eyes pierced mine

looking deep into my soul

and I was forced

to tell her the truth

Yes, Olivia

there really is

a Santa Claus

1/2/2011 Stevie

a river of stones #1

On my way home

an old 60s song

comes on the radio

I'm sixteen again

this time

I'm driving a Benz convertible

with the top down

I have money in my pocket

and

I do not

have to be home

by eleven

1/1/2011 Stevie